Okay, I sooo have to tell you all what happened to Todd.
As you may (or may not) know, Todd is taking massage therapy classes at DCCC. He is getting ready to take "freebie" clients so let him know if you're interested.
ANYWAY!
In his class, as you can expect, they "practice" on each other. I doubt I could ever get used to derobing in a classroom. There's this one guy (name withheld to protect his identity) that no one in the class likes. He's THAT guy - you remember the one - always running about 10 minutes behind everyone else, asks dumb questions that make no sense, gives people the creeps. Yeah, him.
So the people in Todd's class don't like to get this guy as their partner. Todd tells stories of people getting massages by this guy and they're stiff as boards. No one wants to give him a massage either. Ewww!
So, the other day, I asked Todd how his class went. This is how the conversation went:
Me: How'd class go today?
Todd: Horrible
Me: Oh, no, you must have had him.
Todd: Yep
Me: Did he do anything to you?
Todd: Yes
Me: (getting a little defensive of my man), What did he do?
Todd: that son of a gun farted on me.
Me: (stiffling a giggle) Did he really?
Todd: Yes, we had to massage glutes and as he was rolling over, he let out a long, wet-sounding, smelly fart.
Me: (unable to breathe for laughing so hard) I'm so...no really I am...sorry.
In case you don't know, glutes are butt. They were learning glute massage and so this guy (sans underwear) waited until he was rolling over and FARTED.
The whole class LOST it. Todd said it sounded like they were in middle school again. Even the instructor was laughing. Todd wasn't (of course) but everyone else was.
And get this, the guy didn't even apologize! He just said, "it ain't THAT funny!" and waited on Todd to finish! Todd said he had to walk away for a minute. It was BAD!
The instructor told him that had NEVER happened before. Not in her massages, not in her classes. No one had ever farted during a massage! Word spread through the entire department like wildfire. My poor hubbie was the laughing stock of the department!
Sure wish I could figure out a name for "has been farted upon" - that would be GREAT!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Wisdom from Miley Cyrus
When you have children, there are a few things that are all but impossible to avoid: Cartoons, McDonald’s, toy stores, playgrounds, drama and the latest artists in the “tween” category of music. It is from this last group that the inspiration for this post comes. I, personally, am not a Miley Cyrus fan. I wasn’t an “Achy Breaky Heart” fan either, for those of you old enough to know what that is. I am, however, a beneficiary of the latest social networking phenomenon of Twitter.
What in the world does Miley Cyrus and Twitter have in common? Nothing is the current answer to that question. But up until last week, Miley was a huge Twitter fan. Much to the pop culture media’s dismay she deleted her Twitter account “for good reason.” The media outlets would have you believe that “good reason” was her current boyfriend wanted her to delete it and she obliged. But if you followed the media storm she caused, you would have learned that she later said “It wasn’t because my friend told me to. I stopped living for moments and started living for people.”
It’s true. We live in a world that literally goes from moment to moment, event to event, task to task. We don’t take the time to consider the people who are RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.
Think I’m wrong? Consider this: once you leave church on Sunday morning, how often do you think about the people you go to Sunday School with or those who sing in the choir? Does your “to do” list include calling or sending cards to those needing a pick me up or just tasks to prepare for the next event? Can you remember who you spoke to and what it was about last week? How far back in the week can you go? No cheating, it can’t be work related – it has to be personal.
Oh sure, there are a few exceptions. But much like watching the Super Bowl to see the commercials, the people in our lives get sandwiched in between event after event. Some, like the best commercials, leave a big enough impact on us that we remember them, but for the most part, they get lost in the noise of our lives.
Don and Kathy Basha are friends of ours were missionaries in Africa in the bush for two years. When they returned stateside, they had an incredibly difficult time adjusting to life here. You see, where they were, PEOPLE were more important than EVENTS. If you were on your way to a meeting and a friend was in need, it was expected that you stop your journey and help your friend take care of what they needed. If you were hours late for your meeting, it was okay…that’s the way they lived. Don spoke of being late to where they were going just because someone needed to talk.
Can you imagine being hours late for a meeting in our society – no matter what the reason? In college, if a professor was 15 minutes late, the class was cancelled – even if it was a 4 hour class. If your doctor doesn’t see you within 20 minutes of your arrival, you’re encouraged to let the front desk know of your wait time. If we don’t get out of service until 12:10, the pastor becomes concerned that a spontaneous throat ailment has suddenly overtaken his now coughing congregation. Food isn’t considered “fast” if it doesn’t hit your hands within three minutes of ordering. If the phone rings more than twice, you have to answer it – even if that means putting the current conversation you’re having on hold.
We have become a society that lives from event to event or task to task. We live for the next “twitter moment” or “update status” for our Facebook pages while forgetting that PEOPLE are more important.
What in the world does Miley Cyrus and Twitter have in common? Nothing is the current answer to that question. But up until last week, Miley was a huge Twitter fan. Much to the pop culture media’s dismay she deleted her Twitter account “for good reason.” The media outlets would have you believe that “good reason” was her current boyfriend wanted her to delete it and she obliged. But if you followed the media storm she caused, you would have learned that she later said “It wasn’t because my friend told me to. I stopped living for moments and started living for people.”
It’s true. We live in a world that literally goes from moment to moment, event to event, task to task. We don’t take the time to consider the people who are RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.
Think I’m wrong? Consider this: once you leave church on Sunday morning, how often do you think about the people you go to Sunday School with or those who sing in the choir? Does your “to do” list include calling or sending cards to those needing a pick me up or just tasks to prepare for the next event? Can you remember who you spoke to and what it was about last week? How far back in the week can you go? No cheating, it can’t be work related – it has to be personal.
Oh sure, there are a few exceptions. But much like watching the Super Bowl to see the commercials, the people in our lives get sandwiched in between event after event. Some, like the best commercials, leave a big enough impact on us that we remember them, but for the most part, they get lost in the noise of our lives.
Don and Kathy Basha are friends of ours were missionaries in Africa in the bush for two years. When they returned stateside, they had an incredibly difficult time adjusting to life here. You see, where they were, PEOPLE were more important than EVENTS. If you were on your way to a meeting and a friend was in need, it was expected that you stop your journey and help your friend take care of what they needed. If you were hours late for your meeting, it was okay…that’s the way they lived. Don spoke of being late to where they were going just because someone needed to talk.
Can you imagine being hours late for a meeting in our society – no matter what the reason? In college, if a professor was 15 minutes late, the class was cancelled – even if it was a 4 hour class. If your doctor doesn’t see you within 20 minutes of your arrival, you’re encouraged to let the front desk know of your wait time. If we don’t get out of service until 12:10, the pastor becomes concerned that a spontaneous throat ailment has suddenly overtaken his now coughing congregation. Food isn’t considered “fast” if it doesn’t hit your hands within three minutes of ordering. If the phone rings more than twice, you have to answer it – even if that means putting the current conversation you’re having on hold.
We have become a society that lives from event to event or task to task. We live for the next “twitter moment” or “update status” for our Facebook pages while forgetting that PEOPLE are more important.
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