Nice Job People

Attention - this blog is a parental rant. Read ahead at your own risk. I do not take responsibility for how it makes you feel. I don't care what it makes you think.

I do not pretend to know everything there is to know about parenting. I do not consider myself an expert on teenage behavior (not sure anyone can actually). Just like every other parent, my husband and I struggle with what's the right decision, wrong decision - what can damage our daughters permanently. All things considered, thus far, I believe we've done a fairly decent job.

That does not, however, seem to be the consensus. It appears as of late that our decisions regarding our oldest daughter and who she "goes with" have been the focus of judgement. Don't misunderstand. No one has actually approached my husband or me and asked about said young man, the conversations we've had with them, the rules we've set or anything else for that matter. If they'd bothered to do that, their opinions and advice would have been taken into consideration and perhaps they'd have at least seen what we see.

Instead, certain people have taken it upon themselves to make sure that our daughter knows what they think and how they feel. Without regard to us - HER PARENTS - at all, comments have been both made and expressed to her and others.

What does it matter you ask? Well, that's a great question. It matters because now, my very social, very level-headed, very caring daughter is secluding herself. She no longer desires to hang out with or even talk to those she's worked so hard to build relationships with. Things that she once pitched a fit to do, she now pitches a fit to keep from doing. After observing the latest fit, I sat her down and asked her what was going on. Her response...blew me away. "Mom, if people aren't talking about how I'm different now they're talking about how he gives them a bad feeling. No one even asks what you guys think, what my rules are or if they can meet him. They just launch their thoughts, ideas and opinions without thinking about how they make me feel."

Wow. Really people? That's great. Just great. Now, instead of surrounding her in love, helping her stay true and straight to herself and her faith, you've pushed her away. Instead of being there for her and supporting her, you've communicated lack of acceptance. Instead of looking at him like one of God's children, you disregarded him and communicated judgement to her.

Instead of being what we are supposed to be, you've ended up being just like everyone else.