Friends or Acquaintances?

I can't be the only one...we can't be the only couple...it's not just us.

Those are the words I spoke to our pastor and friend a few days ago. After his sermon last Sunday, my heart and mind have been busy battling the truth. We don't have friends.

We need connection. We are designed to connect with others. And we are lacking.

I've always been insecure in my friendships. "They don't really like me. I'm not good enough to be their friend. They think I'm weird. I am weird. Their lives are more together than mine." I really don't have to go on. I can't be the only one that thinks that way.

For people surrounded by other people, we are not connected at all. Oh sure, if you're reading this you might THINK we're connected - I thought so too. After all, I do care for you and others very deeply. But I'm not CONNECTED to you. Todd and I are not CONNECTED to other couples. We look at others in our church and community and see deep, long-suffering, loving relationships and we say "how is that possible?" We can't be the only couple saying that.

After talking with Michael, I am assured that it's not just us. There are others out there that are without that "inner circle." There are others that pass hundreds of people in the church hall saying, "hello, how are you" and never even think about talking with those people outside of church. There are others that go to work every day and have those superficial, non-committal relationships we call friendships and go home lonely. There are others that want someone to ask them how their prayer life is going...what they're learning from the Bible...how their relationship with Christ is. There are others who want someone to listen as they describe the idiotic thing they did at Walmart today and be just as attentive when their pouring their heart out through tears.

But to have those type of relationships takes investment. Having those type of relationships takes trust and faith and forgiveness. It takes a certain level of acceptance, a high level of confidence and an even higher level of commitment. Those type of relationships take being able to set, accept and abide by boundaries. They take an awareness of where you belong in others lives as well as where they belong in yours. They take the ability to feel and think - the ability to be where someone is and then move with them into the next phase - sometimes immediately.

Having friends takes work. Hard work.
Perhaps that's why so many of us have opted for having acquaintances we call friends?
And perhaps that's why, when it really counts and when we really want that deep, close connection we find we are lacking.

It's not just me.
It's not just us.
It's all of us.